Sssh Don't Speak
by MewLuna
Summary: Wally and Artemis are sent to McDonald's. There are toys for Happy Meals of the Justice League. And suddenly Batman broke Flash's heart. Wait, what? One-shot, Spitfire couple, somewhat crack, R&R!


**Sssh Don't Speak**

**By: Luna Mrow**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YJ, McDonald's (I'd rather own Taco Bell) or any of the characters, just this slightly messed up story plot. Somewhat AU, just imagine Young Justice's world where the Justice League is made into fan merchandise (like McDonald's toys). Everything else, exactly the same. Here we go!**

**~X~X~X~**

"Okay let me make sure we have everything written down. Megan wants a chicken wrap with ranch and a small ice cream, Superboy wants three big Macs and a large fry, Kaldur wants a plain salad and an ice tea, and Robin wants a medium fry and Mcnuggets, right?"

"Wait, what now?"

Artemis groaned. "Wally! Please tell me you wrote down what everyone wanted! We're already in town and I'm not going back to the cave!"

The speedster chuckled. "Relax Artie, I have everything written down, here, it's in my pocket." He shoved his hand into his jeans.

The archer stared at him. "You wrote all this on a napkin?"

"I couldn't find any paper."

"Ugh! Of all the teammates I had to be stuck getting McDonald's for everyone with _you_," she scowled.

"Oh come on Artemis, don't tell me you're still raw about last night's mission." Wally tried to soften her with his signature goofy smile but the blonde wouldn't budge. He sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You let me fall off the roof and didn't catch me! You said it was clear to jump!" she shrilled. _Anger Artemis, anger, _she told herself. The teenager sighed. "You know what? Fine. I'll accept your stupid apology."

"Great. So we can eat at McDonalds in peace then?"

"Whatever." The two entered the fast food establishment that was in the smack center of Gotham City. As always, tons of people were inside McDonalds bustling and hustling through the dinner rush hour. Artemis put her hands on her hips (a common teenage girl pose) and scanned the room for an empty seat. Instead, she found something else. "Oh my god! Wally! Look at what they have for toys!"

She put a hand on his shoulder and turned him towards the front counter. On display were Justice League Action Figures, which were being given out for Happy Meal toys. There was Batman (of course), Flash, Superman, Green Arrow, Martian Manhunter, and Black Canary. Unfortunately they didn't have the whole league.

"Oh my god…" Wally stammered. Artemis started laughing. "This isn't funny!" he exclaimed.

"Why the hell not? This is hilarious!"

"No! This is offensive! They should make action figures out of _us!_"

Her hand was still on his shoulder so it didn't have to cover much distance to smack his head. "In your dreams! I'll find us a seat, you go order." Artemis started walking away when two hands gripped her hips and swung her around.

"Not so fast," Wally objected, "You order, I'll find a seat."

His hands were still on her hips. Any second now she'd start blushing. "Fine," Artemis growled, flicking his hands off of her. "But get a booth, loser."

_Five minutes later…_

"Finally you're back! I'm starved!" Wally exclaimed when he saw Artemis approach with a tray.

"You're hungry every five minutes," she muttered. "Here, eat up."

His expression dropped. "_You got me a happy meal?_" he asked incredulously.

"No Wally, you're a big boy now, I got you a _Mighty _kid meal," she smirked. Artemis sat down next to him, reaching into her happy meal box. "I didn't order the other's food yet, we can wait until we're ready to leave so it's fresher." Artemis took out her happy meal toy. "Oh and what do I have here? I got the Flash!"

Wally had to laugh. "This is so messed up!" he chuckled. The little Flash toy looked like he was running (big surprise). Quickly he reached into his box. "I got Batman." The Batman toy was in a crouched position, with one arm up that either looked like a karate chop or a weird high-five.

"You should give that to Robin," Artemis laughed.

"Think the Justice League knows their McDonald's toys?"

"Oh who knows. Here, let me see your Batman." Wally obliged and handed it to her. She took the two action figures, one in each hand, and set them down on the table to play with them. In a deep voice she imitated Batman, "Baby, Flash, I thought what we had was special!"

Wally nearly spit out his drink. He took the Flash and held him up next to Batman. In a girly voice he said, "I just can't commit to you, Batman! We live two different lives!"

Artemis continued her deep voice. "We can learn to settle our differences Flash! I love you, more than the Bat Cave, or my Bat Mobile!"

Wally snickered and continued his girl imitation voice. "Do you love me more than your Boy Wonder Robin?"

"So much more. Robin is nothing compared to your ravishing red costume!"

More laughter.

Wally composed himself. "But Batman, you cheated on me! I saw the way you looked at Green Arrow!"

In her regular voice Artemis laughed, "This is so messed up." She made her voice deep for Batman again. "What Green Arrow and I had—it wasn't enough! You're the sunshine in my life baby-cakes!"

"You broke my heart Batman! I can never love again!"

Artemis then took her figure and put Batman's hand up on Flash's cheek, so it looked like he was cupping it affectionately. "Shh… don't speak."

After that the Wally lost it and laughed so loud the customer's around gave the two odd looks like, 'why are two teenagers playing with McDonald's toys?'. He set the Flash toy down. "That was hilarious."

She smiled. "It was. I never play with toys before, but that was fun." Artemis leaned back in her seat, and since she was sitting next to Wally she leaned over and rested her head against his shoulder. "Sometimes I forget you're my boyfriend," she muttered.

"Sometimes I wonder why you're my girlfriend," he laughed. Wally wrapped an arm around the archer. "But then I remember you're the only one who loves me enough to put up with me."

"True."

"And play action figures with me."

"Even truer."

"I really am sorry, Artemis."

"I know." She smiled and leaned up, placing a quick peck on his cheek. "How about we buy more Happy Meals?"

"Sounds awesome."

**~X~X~X~**

"What the hell? I thought I told you guys I wanted three Big Macs and a large fry!" Superboy shouted.

Robin looked through the bag. "You bought us all Happy Meals!" he exclaimed.

"We wanted the toys," Artemis grinned.

Wally smirked at the upset looks of Superboy and Robin. "Wanna play with our action figures again?" he asked her. She nodded yes with a sly grin. Wally then picked her up and ran off at top speed, leaving the rest of the unhappy team members with nothing but Happy Meals.

**{Author's Note}**

**This was somewhat crack, and the closest thing to slash I'm going to get. (No offence to slash likers, but for me it's not my taste, but no judgment for those who is). Anyway, there have been Batman and Flash toys at McDonald's so when I went there I did the 'Batman cupping Flash's cheek affectionately' joke. It was hilarious. And inspiring! So I hope everyone likes. Thanks for reading, please review!**

**~Luna **


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